Rocky Mountain Moose Medicine

This poem is approved by peta and the animal humane association

And no moose were harmed in the writing and hopefully in the public reading of this poem

Poetry Jam Aspen April 13 2016

Wildlife workshop Prompt


Rocky Mountain Moose Medicine


Heyo Human Family

Moose here, snacking on grass and pansies over in this field –

Can you –

see me?

Well guess what,

I don’t give a fuuuu-ndacious hoot!

I’m sorry,

I beg your pardon,

I don’t mean to be harmfully abrupt or civilly uncouth

Perhaps it’s due to this extraordinary excess of testosterone pollution
that we male moose swagger in,

That might prohibit the growth of more,

Cerebral evolutions

I mean Geez haven’t you not noticed, Look at the size,- of my rack!!

Hell – we still charge and fight like fools over a woman,

And You- know despite the fact, those ever advanced emotionally spiritual lumens

and compassionate beings them moose gals claim

I think they still secretly like our chingaso- vato head butting games.


Now be completely assured

I didn’t say we was stupid

I feel certain that well give you one a hell of schooling

In the wisdom of living out loud

and looking proudly and unapologetically foolish

so come on now, ask your friend their to put down that rifle

there are plenty of other things out here to eat without acting


If you’d like, Ill show you

I heartily recommend those little purple shrooms

tucked under Neath those nettles

They seem to help folks resume their eagerness

To be reasonable and listen, look inward and get settled

Now Therefore –

We Moose !

Or is it meese, or moosses or. Oh whatever, anyway 

Now back to this originating idea of “I don’t care if you see me notion”

Where this loosely framed moose anecdote propelled into motion

One might assume this attitude

That’s not meant to alarm


That there is obviously no shortage

to my quite sizeable form

And if I feel slightly more than mildly threatened

My mooosely adrenaline is famous for its immediate escalation

In the blink of a second

I’m prone to deal out a charging that’ll knock most on their rump

And might actually, quite accidently,

Send a feller home with a rather sizable goose bump


But Wait, – I don’t like to condone that image of fierceness

That’s not really us, or our natural state of moose being-ness

I mean, Look at me

Creator made me look, like a gosh darn cartoon

With a disproportionate head to face ratio,

that protrudes like a side show balloon

Seriously folks, When Mickey, or Donald or Bugs bunny

Get done with their work and step off the TV

Everyone coos, “ahhh look at the cute Ducky, or Bunny or furry Mouss-ey

But that’s not the case for ole Bullwinkle here, Nope, no siree

Kids cant tell the difference when they take a long gander at me.

The animated nose, the lips, the big goofy grin

I believe that in a likeness contest I would most certainly win

The stoner, Big Lebowski of the forest award

Which actually,

I would highly agree in accord

It essentially might explain the increased moose sightings

Here in good old Colora-dope


Best gange in the world by our observational scope (sorry Canada eh)

Hey, Wait

Not so fast you comical

Attention deficit suffering humanoid creature

We are here to share our

Moose ANIMAL Medicine,

not be another weed endorsing cannabis preacher


We’d like to mildly dispute

The recent excessive amounts of reefer growing

in our favorite napping and meditative hiking routes


The medicine of our moose presence,

The thing we hold dear

Is To help and support you in surrendering

And shedding self doubt and fear

Like I said earlier, maybe even possibly twice

We don’t care if you see us, and yet again,

I digress

Here is the medicine we wish to impart

We moose absolutely love who we are, so take a good stare

And trying that on is what we moose,

for you people,

is our deepest animal prayer

We are unshakably certain of who and why we exist

And live comfortably In our hoofs, or,

Whatever these things are at the bottom of these silly leg sticks

Hey, get a load of these knees

How do they actually support me, reminds me of the lopsided physics of the wings of a bumblebee

And frankly, they look funny as sheee – t

-Sheets, in the mud

So laugh all you want

We moose love it ,

as joy and smiling is in our life’s blood

It brings us great elation, To see you so cheerful

Imagine if you allowed yourself that gift

In almost every experience, without being fearful

Almost, – I mean, this is life,

There are always thorns in them sweet berries

der, circle of strife!

Speaking of which, MAN Did I ever catch the biggest briar thorn

In my tush when I was.. uum


Comfortable in my skin

Willing to pull on a big Wilbur-ry grin

When the summer rains pour down

Or the winter snows set in

This is the Moose gift of our goofy, yet regal presence to you

Be happy with,

and for, exactly

What you are compelled to be most true

You are only ever imperfect

When you needlessly yourself to others compare

When you try to define yourself thru the movies

Of someone else’s share


Or Their looks, their money, or textbook symmetrical features

You’ll only find the kind of pain, suffering and heartache

Not meant for any of us sentient creatures

Your unique physical differences and various perspectives and truths

Are needed, are imperative and do triumphantly decorate this dear mother earth

Don’t perceive yourself so extremely

Take time to enjoy the flower filled pastures of your presence,

And, do it routinely

Wade in the laughing internal rivers and comical gifts of yourself

Let the rains of self judgment

Glide effortlessly off your back

And like us moose,

or damn it, is it meeses?

Enjoy yourself for exactly who you are

Because you’re allowed

And don’t ever need any reasons

To be faithfully you in all you’re humanly awkward

Rough edges

And eccentric moose like dorky pieces

For whatever you have become,

Whatever path you have heeded

Moose says there is room for you,

You are appreciated

And vitally needed.

Aho Heblaska






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